Every time I tell somebody just a snippet of my life story of being abused as a child they always give me the sympathy, “Oh I’m sorry” cards. I think I get their intentions, but honestly… to me it’s really annoying! Why do I have to be reminded that there was something to be sympathetic about? It is over. It’s in the past. By now it’s just a mere fact of my existence. I will deal with the traumatic emotions as my life continues, but I’d rather not be reminded by how despairing it was.
I couldn’t help where I started in my life. But I can help where I go and what I do with it. In child abuse literature and activism, the campaigns are always so grim or extreme for us survivors. If it’s not grim it’s incredibly overly optimistic. I find neither to be really exciting. So here are some realistically good things to look forward to if you decide you don’t want to kill yourself from your childhood:
- You Are Basically a Genius at Life
Nobody taught you how to live healthily. Or live at all. Probably you learned a lot of self -destructive habits (counter productive to life). If you’re alive now and doing something productive (whether it be going to class, going to a job, breathing, getting food for yourself every day, maybe not hurting yourself), you are a genius. You are figuring out how to live in this modern world with your atrocious stress for which the research industry hasn’t even figured out how to fully help you yet. Not to mention thriving in a society that can’t even talk about your mental, physical, and past problems without making it about them or in a way that so stigmatized. You’re thriving. You educate by your mere existence. You rock.
2. It’s all downhill from here!
Hopefully. Maybe not for everybody. At least not right away. But once you realize it was childhood abuse — not adult abuse– and you get yourself to a place where you can focus on you, the worst is over. You’re not constantly looking out for safety. You’re not trying to defend your small life from people in power. Every day stress honestly, like work and school, are superficial compared to what you’ve been through. You’re basically ready to be a recruitment on the biggest and most ambitious projects of human history. Like space exploration. Once you get yourself stabilized from your past and prove to yourself that you can thrive, I mean, why wouldn’t Elon Musk want to recruit you for his test space projects? We need the equivalent adventure after the extremities we’ve been built to withstand.
I mean, that’s what I’m going to try to do… I think Elon Musk will be happy to know I’ve survived against all odds and now am THRIVING and will see me as a competitive candidate for his space exploration endeavors. I’ll keep everyone updated.
3. You Have Great Insight Into Suffering
Why would this be a good thing?
You know the entire world’s history and industries are devoted to eradicating suffering, right? I mean, what is alcohol for? Drugs? Pills? The medical industry? Religion? Buddhism? People want to know how to manage this thing called life. And if you can turn your childhood suffering into stability through all of those years of therapy learning new self-care habits, you’re basically looking at it all through the most original lens there is, because you have to figure it all out for yourself. People are going to want to know your secrets. They don’t want to do the deep spiritual and self-discovery work as much as you because they simply don’t have to by the lack of severity of their circumstances. They want answers. And they will think you are an expert by building your own individualistic wisdom and selling it on your blog post. Be a social media star. We need more self-made lifestyle stars than just the clothing and make-up industry. Take advantage of the free market lifestyle industry in the way humans have never seen before and use it to your advantage so you can thrive even more!
4. If You Know Suffering, You Have Deep Empathy
If you spend all those years in therapy and successfully rope yourself out of the despair by learning these life skills to stabilize yourself, you’re probably going to have the deepest empathy. You’ve had to revisit and contemplate some of the most atrocious acts of human existence. And it’s all secret, even. The world needs more empathy. People don’t really know how to do it. And they never had to learn this skill because their circumstances didn’t necessitate it for them to use it to heal. So again, use it to your advantage. Sell your secrets to the internet and Make the Good Things Trendy Again.
5. Did I mention you are a Genius??
Not just in figuring out your own life. But you basically have insight into some of the most puzzling minds of the psychological research industry. The infant’s brain is literally a learning machine. The child’s learns similarly. So if you’re abused as an infant or child, you basically know all the details about your abusers and know how to protect against them effectively. That’s why your mental coping mechanisms were individually tailored to that environment. People think you’re being so erratic and weird for your random anxiety attacks or PTSD flashbacks or nervous tensing or nervous speech impediments or fidgeting or nervous hair plucking, but honestly, it’s just your genius brain reaction to your individualized environment. Look how brilliantly you’re coming up with original ways to deal with all that stress! You were the most mindful of them all, tailoring your mental reactions to your present. In the age of meditative importance, you were expert at it. Now all you have to do is integrate it with the present.
See, dealing with childhood abuse doesn’t have to be all despair. Hopefully these are some things that can give you motivation to keep going.