The Romantic Life


I am either dating no man or ten men right now. 9 of them are confusing.

I keep hearing “Women are so complex” in my imaginary ears but I honestly find myself to be simple and they complex (the hetero-cis gendered ones. This is my personal blog. Don’t ask me to make it gender inclusive).

The heterosexual men never tell you what they want. They always act one way and do another. Then they get confused as to why you’re being so direct in their chatbox saying they make you spill gallons between your legs not during the birthing season.

Sometimes I have a lot of reckless sex. And all my partners find the things that turn me on to be strange. But they take it. Typically whatever we do it’s the first time they’ve experienced it. It is for me too, but I don’t say that. I am a mysterious woman.

I spent a lot of time in February through March sending a lot of men unintentional nudes.

I say unintentional to hide the fact that it was intentional. Because people seem to not want women to do that. Even if she finds men to be more confusing than her.

Sometimes I still send flirtatious texts or public Facebook comment threads to men unintentionally (its very scary. I need mace). And I say unintentional to hide the fact that it is intentional. And I say “send flirtatious texts” to not hide the fact that I am sending strangers flirtatious texts in online public (which is not normal human behavior at all. I am an anomaly).

I still don’t really know if people understand if I am less mainstream than my generic aesthetics suggest.

Please respond to my flirtatious texts if you haven’t already. My Facebook inbox is lonely now that I obsessively post suicide statuses and yell at the non-quality Facebook psychiatrists that lure themselves in. Also, if I’m not actually flirting with you I will tell you that you are annoying, just so you know.



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